Chronic Complaining
Happy, successful people don't do a lot of is complaining. While it is psychologically beneficial to vent when you are under stress, there is a difference between small venting sessions and being a chronic complainer. Chronic complainers tend to always have something wrong in their life. Chronic complainers perceive their issues to be more severe than those of others, and when you have something to vent about yourself, they aren't very interested in listening. Everybody gets dealt a hand in life. Some get dealt better hands than others, but at the end of the day this is the hand of cards that is yours. Chronic complainers tend to complain about their job, their significant other, how little money they make or how something wasn't fair. If you are a chronic complainer, quit whining and talk about the things that are positive in your life and focus on what is good. If you have a problem, sit down and work out a solution. Constant complaining does nothing but push your friends away and keep you in that dark unhappy place. You have good in your life, find it, and share it. [5] Retail Therapy Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/42806032@N07/5787003804 A fullfilled life, is a life full of experiences. Unfortunately, many people get caught up instant gratification provided by the acquisition of materialistic items. This feeling can be so addictive making it easy to forget what truly makes us happy. Sure the latest gadget or new outfit may make you feel good for the evening, but that high is temporary, and you will be back chasing that retail high shortly after. Get out and experience the world. If you can't afford to get away, become a tourist in your own city. Skydive, bungee jump, go to the beach alone, take a hike on an unknown trail, go up to a complete stranger and invite them for coffee, hell... read a book; there are so many other things you could be doing that will enrich your life outside of shopping. Get out of the retail therapy rutt. You can thank me later. Binge Drinking Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/25729759@N02/2778035829 Alcohol can be hard to avoid. It is present in almost every social situation. Alcohol is also a depressant. While alcohol can help loosen you up in these social situations, drinking excessively on a regular basis will cause all sorts of havoc on your life. Since alcohol is a depressant, the following day after drinking excessively usually results in a pretty unproductive day. Not only does this lead to the feeling like you have wasted a day, it also leads to poor eating decisions and laziness putting you even deeper into a negative feedback loop.[6][9] Worrying About the Future Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/67478164@N00/1849208478 No matter what you do, you only have so much impact on what the future has in store for you. Could you get laid off? Maybe. Could you catch a life threatening disease? Yup. You have very little control over whether or not these things happen, so why spend your time worrying about them. As long as you have a reasonable game plan and are living responsibly you should be focused on what is going on in your life now. Focus on living in the moment. If you hate what you are doing, do something else. Right now I'm looking outside, it is sunny and my cat is rubbing up against my leg. I couldn't be happier. Waiting for the Future Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/78019868@N05/7440727306/ Much like worrying about the future, many people focus on future events instead of what is going on right now. The chain of thought usually starts like this: When you are in high school, you think you will be happy when you graduate. Once you've graduated, you think you will be happy once you land a good job. Once you have the dream job, you think you will be happy when you are married. Next you think you will be happy when you have kids. Once you have kids, you think you will be happy when they move out of the house. Next it will be when they have kids. Before you know it you will have spent your entire life waiting for events to bring you happiness just to realize life (and happiness) has passed you by. Lack of Hobbies Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/71337499@N00/6518955941/ Your job, house cleaning and watching TV are NOT hobbies. Hobbies are activities that you can become passionate about. Hobbies are something that you can do when you have three hours of free time on a Thursday night. Hobbies are skills that could potentially earn you money if you become good enough at them. Happy people tend to have hobbies, whether your hobby is kick boxing, playing the guitar, or even basket weaving. Hobbies give you something to do with your free time and give you some time for YOU. This is time you are investing in yourself. Group hobbies also have the added benefit of giving you additional socializing time. Eating Poorly Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/25744394@N04/2868791420/ We all make bad food choices from time to time. No big deal right? Enjoying food has mental health benefits as well. Eating poorly becomes a problem when these food choices outweigh healthy alternatives. Making bad food choices or eating too much is not only bad for your health, it can make you feel lethargic, guilty, depressed and when done for extended periods of time typically results in gained weight. Unfortunately eating poorly is a vicious cycle caused by a negative feedback loop. Often times people eat to self medicate when they are feeling down. They feel great for a few minutes while they eat their delicious treats, but then feel guilt afterwards, followed by lack of energy and reduced productivity. Eating healthy not only makes you have more energy, it also makes you look better, which makes you feel better about yourself. Contrary to what the millions of fitness magazines out there will tell you, 90% of how you look is determined by what and how much food you put in your body, not how much time you spend running on a treadmill. Eat right, look great, and feel great.[7] [8] Talking Poorly of Others Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/8408916@N02/3095652924/ "Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine." ~Fran Lebowitz Next time you go out, listen to what people talk about. Are you spending your time gossiping or talking about other people. Unhappy people get caught up talking about other people instead of talking about things such as ideas or current events. Unhappy people also have a tendency to judge others. "Look what that idiot is doing!. "Can you believe what she is wearing". If you catch yourself judging somebody you don't know, bite your tongue. Trashing somebody else might make you feel better for a moment, but all you are doing is masking your insecurities by trying to put them beneath you. Instead, try complimenting others, at first it might be hard, but it will make you feel good and will make you a much more desirable person to be around. Holding Grudges Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/73645804@N00/3995778395/ Harbouring animosity towards somebody is like carrying around a backpack full of rocks. You might not have a problem carrying it, but it is a load on your back, and life sure would be easier if you could just take it off. Do yourself a favour, forgive. This doesn't mean you need to become best buds with whomever has done you wrong, but come to terms with what has happened and understand that people make mistakes. Forgiving will help free you of anxiety, stress and depression and allow you to have happier relationships. Free yourself of the hate, and move on.[4] Stop Learning Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/66548401@N00/4053097146/ "The moment you stop learning, you stop leading." - Rick Warren It isn't hard to become complacent in life. You've spent so much time going to school to eventually get a job that education sometimes takes a backseat to life. Learning doesn't need to be a chore. Get out there and learn about something you are passionate about. Do you enjoy mexican food? Perfect! Start reading about it and practice making five star restaurant quality mexican food. Learning new things not only gives you things to talk about in social environments, it also helps improve your self worth, which leads to happiness. Not Following Through Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/65894052@N00/3688993279/ It is easy to sit on the couch and make a list of things you want or plan to do. Actually getting up off the couch and doing them takes a lot more energy. Taking the first step is always the hardest part with any plan. Quit making excuses and walk the walk, nobody is going to do it for you. Want to go back to school? Pick up the phone and register. Want to lose 10 lbs? Get in your car and drive to the gym. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Quit letting the first step hold you back. Hating Your Job Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/7811493@N07/6139274133/ Fact: Most people have to work to survive. Fact: The average full time work week is 40 hours. With two weeks vacation most people work 2000 hours per year. If you are going to spend 2000 hours per year working, please make an attempt to like your job. Since you will be spending 22.8% of your entire year (yes that includes sleeping hours) you better like what you are doing. Now, before you jump to conclusions that you hate your job, think to yourself, "Do I really hate my job, or have i just complained about it to others so much that I think I do?". So many people love their job when they first start. As time goes on, co-workers start to complain about things, and then you start to find little things that bother you, then soon enough everybody's complaining has amalgamated into this giant ball of hate. Next thing you know you are blaming your job for your unhappiness. If this is your situation, you can either A) Start telling yourself something you love about your job daily, and make sure you relay this to your co-workers in an attempt to learn to re-love your job or B) If it is too late, and the damage is done, move on to a similar job elsewhere and do everything you can to keep things positive from the get go. In the event you genuinely hate your job and doing it another day is going to cause you endless grief, simply take the plunge; Quit and move on. Being unhappy for close to a quarter or your life just isn't worth it.[10] Letting Negative Thoughts Enter Your Mind Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/8185633@N07/4679548147/ I'm the first to admit to having suffered from allowing negative thoughts to take up valuable real estate in my brain. Negative thoughts would enter my mind and I would let them stick around. They my favorite yoga workout would sit there, fester and take control of my emotions and my happiness. It got so bad, I had to speek to my doctor about it to which he gave me the following advice. "When these thoughts enter your head, immediately think of something else. You choose what you think about, and the longer you entertain a negative thought, the more it is going to stay in focus." We are all human, and bad thoughts will enter our heads from time to time, but by being conscious of what you thinking about you can push them out of your head before they take you over. Jumping to Conclusions Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/43546149@N00/222403868/ Jumping to conclusions is a huge source of both unhappiness and anxiety for people. Jumping to conclusions usually comes in one of two forms; Fortune telling and mind reading. Fortune Telling is when a situation arises and you automatically predict that things are going to turn our poorly. Because of this fortune telling, you often take yourself out of these situations, which for the most part would end in a great experience. You lose out by having jumped to conclusions and predicting an unsatisfactory outcome. Mind reading is when you automatically assume that others are negatively reacting to you or something you've done when there is no definite evidence. This can and will make you feel like a victim and can result in unfounded resentment towards these imaginary reactions.[2] Magnification Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/81691700@N00/3323718703/ Often times unhappy people have a tendency to blow small things out of proportion. Take a step back before you deal with an issue and try to look at it objectively. If you try to take yourself and your emotions out of the equation and think it through you will realize that you are making a big deal out of nothing. If you still aren't sure, ask somebody you trust what they would do in this situation before losing sleep over it. [2] Minimization Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/16316293@N00/4439307101/ The exact opposite of magnification is minimization. Minimization is when you take real problems and instead of dealing with them, tell yourself they are insignificant. Unfortunately you can only sweep your problems under the rug for so long before they explode. People tend to ignore problems like debt, infidelity, and obesity amongst other things. If this sounds like you, stop ignoring your ongoing problems; become actionable and take steps to fix them. Much like grudges, you will feel much better once these problems have been resolved.[2] Let Strangers Affect Your Mood Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/58571789@N00/5723898209/ The world is a scary place. There are lots of pissed off people and many who want to drag you down to their level. If somebody gives you the middle finger while driving, smile back at them and let them spend their energy being cranky. Don't let somebody else's bad day control the outcome of yours. If you have to deal with a grumpy person, kill them with kindness. Often times your unfounded happiness will make them realize how big of a jerk they are being. Obsessing Over Money Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/28504195@N08/4230211347/ Money, everybody wants it, nobody seems to have enough of it; Or do they? Most people think that if they had more money, their happiness would increase accordingly. Unfortunately, much like "Waiting for the future" , the illusion that more money will solve all your problems and make you happy is nothing more than just that, an illusion. According to a Princeton University study, emotional well being and happiness does rise with income, but only to an annual household income of $75,000. [1]. If your household income is already over $75,000 it might be time to reevaluate your happiness, more money is probably not going to make you that much happier. Still stressed out? Here are 21 Ways to Relieve Stress and Anxiety. http://www.infobarrel.com/22_Habits_of_Unhappy_People
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